When a family member or close friend struggles with substance abuse, you might feel overcome with worry. It can seem like there is nothing you can do to ease the burden of loneliness or bring them back from the dark place they are in.
After all, this person has chosen to use drugs and alcohol and isn’t willing to change their ways. What you may not know is that there are things you can do to help them get through this time. If you recognize that your loved one has a problem with substance abuse, it can be tempting to avoid talking about it altogether and let time pass until they’re ready for help again.
Doing so might make sense on the surface level, but it doesn’t take into account the emotional toll it can have on everyone else in the family. So instead of trying to fix someone who is broken, focus on encouraging them instead of pushing them away.
Set a positive example
Many people who struggle with substance abuse have a history of being shamed and judged by others because of their problems. Instead of judging your loved one as a bad person, set an example that they can aspire to.
Instead of putting them down or yelling at them, show them how to love themselves and show patience. Don’t use drugs or alcohol, and let them know that you will not tolerate it. If your loved one sees you setting a good example, it can send a powerful message.
When people are in need of change, they often look for someone who has stepped up to the challenge and made a positive change in their life. Let them know that you’ve taken that first step, and it can inspire them to do the same.
Find a trusted source to talk to
If your loved one has been using drugs or alcohol long-term, it can be difficult to talk to them about it. You might feel like they don’t understand or are too defensive to listen. You might be tempted to avoid the subject altogether, but this only creates more tension in the family. Instead, find a trusted source to talk to.
A family member, friend, or pastor might be a good person to confide in. You might also want to consider reaching out to organizations such as Al-Anon or Alateen. There are many resources available to help people who are struggling with addiction and those who love them. If your loved one is reluctant to talk to you, it may be a good idea to find someone else they trust.
Talk more instead of less
Talking is important when you’re trying to motivate someone to get help for addiction treatment. When someone is using drugs and alcohol, they might not want to open up to others about their problem, so try to take the lead and be the one to bring up the subject.
Be the one to suggest that they see a counselor or talk to a sponsor. If they’re resistant to these ideas, find another way to talk about their problems. Avoid the subject of drugs and alcohol only to have long silences whenever they come up.
Instead, find a way to talk about it instead. Discuss your feelings and how you’re feeling about the person’s problem and how you want them to get help. Let them know that you care and that you’re willing to help them get better.
Ask how you can help
Look for ways to support your loved one that doesn’t involve them using substances. If you’re struggling to find other ways to help, ask your loved one what they need, and what might help them get through their problem.
Help them find the right therapist, find a program that fits their needs, or offer to drive them to appointments if you’re able. If you’re not sure how you can help, let your loved one know; they might be more willing to accept help if they’re not feeling like they need it.
Help them to see that they have more than enough people to depend on in their life that they don’t need to turn to substances to feel better.
Encourage your loved one to talk
Getting someone to open up and talk about their problems can be one of the most difficult things you can do. Keep in mind that your loved one might not want to talk about it, and they might not be ready to admit that they have a problem.
They might not even realize that they need help. Talk to your loved one about their problems and listen to what they have to say. Let them know that you care and that you’re willing to listen. Keep in mind that even if your loved one doesn’t want to talk about their issues, you might still be able to help them get through them.
Offer to accompany them to their doctor’s office or to their therapist’s appointment. Even after your loved one has gone to drug rehab or alcohol rehab you should still encourage them to talk, they may want to talk specifically about those experiences too.
Promise to visit them
If you’re trying to convince your loved one to go to a boarding rehab facility, then leaving the comfort of their home can be quite scary. However, if they know that loved ones will visit them then this may ease their concerns a bit and convince them to finally take the plunge and go.
You could also promise to bring other friends and family along with you if they would like that.
Show support instead of relying on them to change
As helpful as you try to be, your loved one might not be willing to get help. They might not want to accept that they have a problem. When this happens, don’t try to pressure them into changing.
Instead, show them that you love them, support them, and let them know that you’ll be there for them no matter what. You might find that your loved one is more willing to accept help if they know that you’re nearby.
Don’t cut yourself off from your loved one—stay in touch, and let them know that they are still important to you. When someone is using drugs and alcohol, they might not want to see you or talk to you.
You might not be able to engage with them when they’re using either, so let them know that you care and are willing to be there for them. Let them know that they can call whenever they need you, and let them know that you want to be there for them no matter what happens.
Stay away when they’re using
Even if your loved one isn’t ready to talk about their problems and get help for their substance use, you can still make a difference. When your loved one is using drugs and alcohol, they might not want to be around you or talk to you.
You might not be able to engage with them when they’re using either, so let them know that you care and are willing to be there for them no matter what happens. Let them know that they can call whenever they need you, and let them know that you want to be there for them no matter what happens.
Dealing with your loved one’s substance use is hard enough, but dealing with their substance use while they are in denial can feel like a constant uphill battle. When your loved one is using drugs and alcohol, don’t try to get them to stop using by yourself. Instead, take care of your other priorities, like your loved one’s health, finances, and other relationships.
Negotiate and insist on making decisions together
If your loved one is ready to get help but they are unwilling to accept that they have a problem, you might have to stand your ground. When your loved one is using drugs and alcohol, they might not want to see you or talk to you.
You might not be able to engage with them when they’re using either, so let them know that you care and are willing to be there for them no matter what happens. Let them know that you’ll be there for them no matter what happens.
When your loved one is ready to get help, but they aren’t willing to accept that they have a problem, you might have to stand your ground.
Don’t give in on everything your loved one wants, but make sure that they get the help they need. If you negotiate and insist, you’ll be better able to motivate your loved one to get help. Don’t give up on your loved one, and don’t give up on helping them get better.
Conclusion
Most people would agree that getting help is the best way to deal with a substance abuse problem. Unfortunately, many people who struggle with substance abuse don’t want help. They might be embarrassed about the problem, scared it will get worse if they get help, or just don’t think they have a problem.
When your loved one is ready to get help, but they aren’t willing to accept that they have a problem, you might have to stand your ground. When someone is ready to get help but they aren’t willing to accept that they have a problem, you might have to stand your ground.
Don’t give in on everything your loved one wants, but make sure that they get the help they need. Motivate your loved one to get help, and don’t give up on helping them get better.